How ‘backyard adventures’ can boost your daily joy and happiness 

Imagine waking up each day with a renewed sense of excitement – not because you’re travelling to some distant land, but because you’re discovering the wonders in your own neighbourhood.  

In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to fall into the trap of habituation – where routine dulls our senses and the familiar becomes mundane.  However, by understanding how habituation works, and by planning little adventures in our own backyards, we can re-ignite that spark of joy and happiness.

This is a premise that I heard Mel Robbins talking about on her podcast a couple of weeks back, and it’s one that really resonated with me.   It’s similar in concept to my intention of being a tourist in my own backyard.

I love to travel (as I’m sure you do too), but often we look at destinations with ‘rose coloured glasses’.  We don’t seem to wear those same rose coloured glasses when we look at the home and environment we live in

In 2018 and 2019, we spent two summers living in Washington State, based in Mill Creek, Seattle.  Before we left NZ, I did a lot of research on Seattle and the surrounding area, and came up with a list of my 20 top things I’d like to see, do, and visit.  We spent every weekend my husband had off work, exploring the area, ticking off all those items.  And it was incredible.  

Not knowing we would be returning in a year, we were very purposeful about exploring and making the most of the opportunity of being there.  Having a deadline like that certainly helps us take action doesn’t it?  It’s like when you’re heading away for a couple of weeks.  The two days before you leave, you work like a super woman, achieving more in those two days probably than the last two weeks.  It’s because you have a purpose, and a defined (short) timeline.

At hubby’s work, he had our list pinned to the wall.  He was visibly ticking them off as we did things.  It became a subject of conversation with those who came into his office.  And it revealed a startling truth.

There were very few of the items on the list that the ‘locals’ had ever been to, done, seen, or experienced.

Here they were living in this incredible environment, with the most stunning hikes within a couple of hours drive, the sheltered waterways of the Puget Sound on their doorstep, and a beautiful city to explore, and they’d done virtually none of it.    

And I bet that’s true for many of you reading this, and your own city.

Isn’t that a terrible truth?

How many people around the world come and visit where you live to see, do, and be in your area?  How much do they sacrifice to travel there, and get to experience your ‘backyard’.

I’ve talked many times about being a tourist in your own backyard.  One of the funny things I’ve found, is that it’s often the most ‘touristy’ things that are the activities the locals don’t experience.  I’m not sure if it’s that we feel as a local, it’s not something we need to see/do, or exactly what it is, but I’ve found this to be sadly true.

As an example, in Seattle city, one of my favourite destinations to visit and experience is Smith Tower.  It’s a building with a fascinating history, that’s very evident and offers an incredible insight into it for you to experience when you visit.  It was once the tallest building in the city, and boasts views to die for – also giving you a great view of the more famous Space Needle.  Yet I did not meet a local who’d ever been up it!

And I have to admit, I’ve been guilty of the same thing in NZ.  But after my experience in Seattle, my eyes were opened, and since then we’ve made a very conscious effort now to truly live, see and do in our area.

So a couple of weeks ago I was listening to a Mel Robbins’ podcast, and she talked about a game she plays, called Never Been There, Never Done That.  The concept is similar to my idea of exploring your own backyard, but this brings it even more locally into your own neighbourhood (and home) as well.

She talks about how you can use science based research to make your life sparkle again and reignite happiness in your day to day life.   Who doesn’t want that right?

As humans, we tend to become creatures of habit.  There’s actually a name for this – habituation.  It’s when life becomes too routine.  How when you get used to something, you tend not to enjoy it as much.  I believe that some of this, is because when we get used to something, we stop really seeing it.  When we see or experience something daily, we tend to take it for granted.  That mental note you made when you first saw ‘that view’ becomes dulled with time.

As an example, three years ago we invested in a new kitchen.  It had been my dream for a long time – I spent a lot of time planning it, so not only did it look beautiful, but that it would also function as I needed it.  I spend a lot of time in my kitchen, and it was really important it fitted everything I had, and that it could work functionally for not just me, but for the rest of the family as well.

Those first few weeks after it was finished, I walked into my kitchen ‘kicking my heels up’, and experienced moments of joy looking around, and when using it.  There was literally a smile on my face, and a joyous hum from me as I spent time in this beautiful new space.

Three years on, I’m largely immune to it.  Now, I take it for granted.  It hasn’t changed in any way. It’s no less beautiful than it was when first finished. But I no longer notice how beautiful it is, nor how well it functions, because it just does.  I’ve forgotten what it was like to work in a poorly functioning kitchen, so I’ve forgotten to appreciate how great it is to use a well functioning kitchen.

And I believe it’s the same with so much of our life.

We often work on an autopilot, and with such busy lives, it’s easy to simply travel the same routes, go to the same places, and order the same things.

But in doing this, you’re actually robbing yourself of so many joys, and happiness.

Studies have found that there is a lot of joy in anticipation.  

Think about that with your own life.  Do you have something exciting coming up on your calendar?  Does having that to look forward to make you smile when you just think of it?

When I studied goal setting at university, studies had found that your happiness is higher when you are actually working towards your goal, than when you achieve it.  

Pretty startling right?!

Why could that be? For me, I know that it’s important I have a sense of purpose.  That’s what makes me jump out of bed in the morning.  To know I’m making a difference, or working towards something, is my motivation.

So I’m sure it’s similar with goal setting.  Your goal gives you that drive, that motivation, and every step you take towards it, brings joy and happiness, as you know you’re working with purpose.

The anti climax of achieving it, is most likely felt because just after the moment of achievement, you realise you have nothing to look forward to, and you’ve lost your purpose.  (But it’s ok – you can set another goal ….)

Perhaps there’s a lot more to the saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination” than we’ve ever believed.

In Mel’s podcast, she touches on all of these things (with research to back it), and how she counters habituation with a game she plays called Never Been There, Never Done That.

This is a great tool to re-ignite the sparks of joy and happiness in your life

It brings into play the anticipation of looking forward to something, and combines it with the joy of discovering something new.

It’s like a little bucket list, for your ‘local’ life.  It’s about adventuring in your own backyard.

She breaks it into five categories, and recommends you create a list with these 5 categories.  

So it brings planning into the process.  And for me, planning has been an essential way for me to achieve things.  

We know writing things down is a lot more powerful than just thinking, or talking about things.

You are more likely to achieve something if you write it down. 

And it’s the same with this game.  

Here are the five categories of the Never Been There, Never Done That game.

1. Go to a new store
2. Drive walk or bike down a new street
3. Go to a new museum / art gallery / library
4. Try a new type of food (or cook something new)
5. Join a sports league / sign up for a community service group / volunteer somewhere

To help facilitate this for you, I’ve created a planning sheet.  Simply print it out, and place it somewhere you’ll see it daily.  (I place this, and my other goal sheets, on the wall opposite my toilet, so every time I sit down, I have the visual reminder.

You might find you want to pre-plan the actual ‘adventures’.

Or you might find, that just having those headings and that intent, will spark the activity when you head out, and you use the form to fill in the things you’ve done, or where you’ve been.

Make it work for you.

But however you use it, I hope that you find it sparks more joy in your life, and happiness, as you adventure in your own backyard.

Don’t overcomplicate it.  

It could be as simple as going to a different coffee shop today, or driving a different route to work.  

It could be trying a new recipe – here’s one you might like! :) 

I do recommend, that you make sure you try and tick off at least one thing in each of the five categories in the next month.  Then you’ll see how great it feels, which will inspire and motivate you to do it again, and more! 

I’d love for you to comment below when you’ve achieved your first ‘tick’.

Happy adventuring,